Master Of The House



THENARDIER:

Wel-come M'-sieur.
Sit your-self down
and meet the best inn-keep-er in town.

As for the rest,
all of them crooks,
rook-ing the guests and cook-ing the books._

Sel-dom do you see
hon-est men like me,
a gent of good in-tent who's con-tent to be...

Mas-ter of the house,
dol-ing out the charm
read-y with a hand-shake and an o-pen palm.

Tells a sauc-y tale,
makes a lit-tle stir,
cus-tom-ers ap-pre-ci-ate a bon vi-veur.

Glad to do a friend a fa-vor.
Does-n't cost me to be nice._
But noth-ing gets you noth-ing, ev-'ry-thing has got a little price._

Mas-ter of the house,
keep-er of the zoo,
read-y to re-lieve them of a sou or two.

Wa-ter-ing the wine,
mak-ing up the weight,
pick-ing up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight.

Ev-'ry-bod-y loves a land-lord,
ev-'ry-bod-y's bo-som friend._
I do what-ev-er pleas-es, Je-sus, don't I bleed 'em in the end!

CHORUS:

Mas-ter of the house,
quick to catch your eye,
nev-er wants a pas-ser-by to pass him by.

Ser-vant to the poor,
but-ler to the great,
com-fort-er, phi-los-o-pher and life-long mate.

Ev-'ry-bod-y's boon compan-ion.
ev-'ry-body's chap-er-one._
But lock up your va-lis-es.
Je-sus, won't I skin you to the bone!

THENARDIER:

En-ter, M'-sieur.
Lay down your load,
un-lace your boots and rest from the road.

This weighs a ton.
Trav-el's a curse.
But here we strive to light-en your purse._

Here the goose is cooked,
Here the fat is fried.
And noth-ing's o-ver-looked till I'm sat-is-fied.

Food be-yond com-pare,
food be-yond be-lief,
mix it in a min-cer and pre-tend it's beef.

Kid-ney of a horse,
liv-er of a cat,
fill-ing up the sau-sa-ges with this and that.

Res-i-dents are more than wel-come.
Bri-dal suite is oc-cu-pied._
Rea-son-a-ble charg-es plus_ some lit-tle ex-tras on the side.

Charge 'em for the lice,
ex-tra for the mice,
two per-cent for look-ing in the mir-ror twice.

Here a lit-tle slice,
there a lit-tle cut,
three per-cent for sleep-ing with the win-dow shut.

When it comes to fix-ing pric-es,
there are lots of tricks he knows._
How it all in-creas-es, all_ them bits and piec-es, 
Je-sus, it's a-maz-ing how it grows.

CHORUS:

Mas-ter of the house,
quick to catch your eye,
nev-er wants a pas-ser-by to pass him by.

Ser-vant to the poor,
but-ler to the great,
com-fort-er, phi-los-o-pher and life-long mate.
Ev-'ry-bod-y's boon compan-ion.

Give 'em ev-'ry-thing I've got._
Dir-ty bunch of geez-ers,
Je-sus, what a sor-ry lit-tle lot!

MADAME THENARDIER:

I used to dream that I_
would meet a prince.
But, God Al-might-y, have you seen what's hap-pened since?_

Mas-ter of the house?
Is-n't worth my spit!
Com-fort-er, phi-los-o-pher and life-long shit!

Cun-ning lit-tle brain,
reg-u-lar Vol-taire.
Thinks he's quite a lov-er but there's not much there!

What a cru-el trick of na-ture
land-ed me with such a louse._
God knows how I've last-ed liv-ing with this bas-tard in the house!

CHORUS:

Mas-ter of the house,
mas-ter and a half,
com-fort-er, phi-los-o-pher, don't make me laugh!

Ser-vant to the poor,
but-ler to the great,
hyp-o-crite and toad-y and in-eb-ri-ate!

Ev-'ry-bod-y bless our land-lord.
Ev-'ry-body bless his spouse._

THENARDIER:

Ev-'ry-bod-y raise a glass,

MADAME THENARDIER:

raise it up the mas-ter's ass!

ALL:

Ev-'ry-bod-y raise a glass to the mas-ter of the house!

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